Has menopause given you thoughts of suicide?

Yes. My menopause has given me thoughts of suicide.

But I am not suicidal.

·       Every morning I wake up covered in sweat thinking I really have to go through this again?

·       When the HCG kicks in and I experience morning sickness all day.

·       The beginning of a hot flash that spreads like hot coals from your insides out.

·       The body changes, itchy skin, voodoo pains, exhaustion. Just all of it.

Yes, I think about suicide.

But I am not suicidal.

People need to make that distinction.

I think that if we allow ourselves to make that statement, it should be OK to talk about suicide without the risk of getting committed.

My husband and I have had this talk. I am allowed to say it and he knows it’s just coming from the fact that this has been five and a half years of pure hell... and counting.

Yes, I think about suicide.

But I am not suicidal.

Some of us are more prone to these thoughts of suicide than others and some of us have had these suicidal thoughts for our whole lives.

So what? I also think about eating 30 chili dogs for dinner some nights, but I’m not going to do it.

Why don’t some of us who think about suicide do it? For me it is the consequence. We consider the consequence.

Consequence can be anything: Family, missed opportunities, etc. What would my spouse do? How would my friends feel? No more chili dogs. Then there is the thought of it being so final.

Then we go back to dealing with, well, whatever, and we wake up another day.

No, I am not making light of suicide. I am telling you how I feel about it. We all have different opinions.

If we refuse to talk about suicide, like our parents refused to talk about sex and menopause, then no one will realize it exists. It exists everywhere and it affects everyone around you. I think if everyone was truly honest with themselves, they would admit the thought has crossed their minds.

So where are the studies? As with everything woman, they are not out there as much as they are for men. But if we refuse to discuss it, there can be no study.

Google this: menopause and suicide research studies

There are very little research studies but plenty of posts and articles.

Then Google this: men and middle age suicide research studies

Unbelievable how many studies and support there is for this.

As always, women are left in the dark. Why? Most doctors are men, and they control the studies. Simple as that. 64% men to 36% women according to the Washington Post but this is only 2019 data. In 1950, only 6% of doctors were women.

You would think, given how much they want to get in our pants (or skirts), that they would spend more time learning about us.

I digress.

I have never called a hotline or asked for help with my suicidal thoughts which started when I was eleven. There was no hotline. You mentioned the word in the 1970s and you got committed. My feelings were simply dealt with. Grow up and get over it. That’s how I was raised.

Not all of us can just suck it up. Suicidal thoughts are real.

You deserve to be heard without judgement, in a safe space.

From The National Library of Medicine:

“There is a high rate of suicide in women aged 45–54 years. This may be related to the biological changes associated with the menopause.”

Read the whole article here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6299176/

If the thought of suicide does NOT go away, there is help. Use it.

Suicide Resources:

If you or anyone is considering suicide, please call, chat or text with a suicide hotline:

·        988 (1-800-273-8255 will continue to work for some time)

·        To chat online with a national suicide hotline counselor, click here: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

·        For the hearing impaired, contact the Lifeline by TTY at: 1-800-799-4889

The veterans suicide hotline (Veterans Crisis Line): 1-800-273-8255, press 1 or text to 838255 (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) Suicide Hotline (the Trevor Lifeline): 1-866-488-7386 (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)

Teen suicide hotline (Thursday's Child National Youth Advocacy Hotline): 1-800-USA-KIDS (872-5437) (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)

International

If you are calling from outside of the United States. No matter where you are, though, help is available. Find lists of international suicide hotline numbers at:

·        The International Association for Suicide Prevention: https://www.iasp.info/index.php

·        Befrienders Worldwide: http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk

As always, please share your thoughts or comments. You can do it anonymously on the website. Instructions are on the main page.

 With Love, Kristen